Getting Back on Track

I want to do an experiment, so play along if you can. Things you'll need; a pen/pencil and a piece of paper.
I want you to draw a long "S" like shape on a piece of paper. Make as many "S" curves as you want. Now, in a different color pen/pencil, I want you to close your eyes, and try your best to trace the shape you just drew.




This is mine

The purpose of this exercise? To show you that in life, our relationships, marriages, careers etc we have this path we envision for ourselves (mine is the black line) then, we have reality (mine is the red line) throughout our lives, sometimes we are RIGHT on track, and other times we are close, but not on the path, and other times we are just WAY off, but we do come back again. We are basically going through life with an idea of what we want, but really, we can not see where we are going. Do not be discouraged if life takes you somewhere you didn't imagine you would be. Just go with the flow, get yourself back on track, and move forward!


My inspiration for this blog comes from a recent time in my marriage. I never imagined I would be married to a military man, live 3,000 miles away from family, STILL be in college after not wanting to really go anyways and it lasting for 10 years give or take a few semesters... but this is my marriage, and Mark is who I fell in love with. What can I say? the guy has charm!


We have been married for 9 years. In the beginning, it is really not that difficult to be pleased in the marriage and have your needs met. It is new and fresh and you are so in love and happy. For us it was this way anyways. Eventually, you learn that marriage takes more investing into as time goes on than maybe it did in the beginning. If you don't give it nourishment, it will die.

photo credit: bobfranklin via photopin cc

These last 2 years we have been pretty busy. First, Mark made chief and went through some pretty intense training. The first year of being a chief is said to be the toughest. He was getting used to a new role amongst his peers and also a new roll in general. This was his dream and he was finally living it. Soon after, I started nursing school. It was now my turn to move on with my dream. I was doing some intense studying some nights, and really needed to focus on my school work. Any little slip up could be disastrous in the nursing school world, and I am a bit of a perfectionist. School is now complete, Mark has now been a chief for over a year, and we look around and it has come to both of our conclusions that we really haven't been investing as much into each other as we both needed to be. It happened by mistake, we just got so used to our hectic schedules, taking care of the kids, the house, spending time with friends (awesome ones btw) that alone time just got less and less. I missed my friend. Since being out of nursing school, his schedule has changed a few times. Usually he works an odd shift and doesn't come home until early morning and sleeps a good part of the day away.


Sure we would spend time "together" with friends on the weekend sometimes, or "together" with the kids, we had an occasional dinner out in town for an hour or so, but we really needed to spend time TOGETHER, one on one, having fun, talking, playing, laughing etc. We had fallen off our path without even realizing it for a little while. Mark is just as serious and committed to his work as I am about mine. As the wife of a chief, I learned very early on when he was going through induction not to rely too heavy on a set schedule. He could leave a 2pm and not be home until 4am and this actually does happen sometimes. I learned to go with the flow and not really expect him to be home at a certain time. They are also pulled away when you least expect it, like ON the day of my graduation. That day I was heart broken because I didn't think he would make it and that was SO important to me, but he worked it out and made it!



Once we did realize We had been off track for a bit, we made a plan. Well actually, I told Mark about an event in Pismo beach and we decided it would be cool to go to together if we could get a sitter, and then Mark made the plans. I have to say it felt incredible for him to plan the entire day, and it really gave us that refreshing feeling to our relationship. It was exactly what we needed. I feel like I have my friend back.

photo credit: digitaldefection via photopin cc