This morning I was reminiscing...supposed to be cleaning, but i get side tracked sometimes :) Its very common for me to do this and usually i have this urge to write but ive been so busy with school lately.. who has the time? but right now...I soooort of do.. not really. but anyways...
when you think back to when you were a kid and the games you liked to play, you can see the connection to the child you were to the adult you are now. I was telling mark (as he was cleaning) stories about me as a kid and games i liked to play; house, school, paint my nails, do my hair, and some nurse-ey stuff. (tag and climb trees and stuff too, but career wise these things...)
you know these things are all things i still love to do. i always knew id be a young mom, i still LOVE to do my nails and hair, i like teaching and im going to be a nurse.
i was telling mark, when i was a little girl, we had brown doors and i had a brown book shelf, and i used to write on the book shelf with chalk (i stole it from my teacher..oops! shh!) i remember being so excited when our school got new books because they gave us the old ones for free. English my the subject i loved the most!
i have a niece who is 6 years younger than me, i remember teaching her all the time! she was my baby doll, my student, my patient, etc. i remember teaching her cursive and i actually made one of those banners like they had in school around the top of the walls with the alphabet in cursive. i made that for her. i taught her many things...some things like how to pluck that uni brow, shave her legs, dye hair lol...
this little niece of mine was also the one i diagnosed with a scar lol! we were running up the stairs away from my dogs, and there was a baby gate at the bottom so the dogs couldn't get up the stairs. i had to of been about...maybe 11. probably even 10. so she was about 5... she couldn't climb over the gate as quickly as my awkwardly little long legs could at the time, and she ended up cutting her knee open on the metal part of the gate... so i helped her upstairs, had her sit on the bed, grabbed out moms old first aid kit. it was blue with a yellow handle. we had it since i was a little girl, as young as i could remember! i cleaned her up, and told her it may scar... and sure enough, it did! i was her little nurse that day.
a little girl (about 5-9 years old) i used to go in that first aid kit all the time.
my favorite stuff to play with was the calamine lotion (it was pink! duh!) any little itch i had, i put that stuff on me. i like the ace wraps, OH the little thermometers that had the dots on them. they were brown and turned blue or vice verca...and a one time use. those were fun! that kit was a mess because of me. idk if mom even knew i played in that thing.
mom worked as a medical assistant and i remember her having mickey mouses x-ray. i also remember her purple stethoscope :)
So i am very close to completing part of my dream. i never knew that i really wanted to go to school to be a nurse.. mostly because of time. i didnt want to invest years of school. the older i get, the more i wish i did this much sooner, but im also indecisive. some reason i had it in my head that whatever i did, id be stuck doing that career forever.. it didn't really cross my mind that i could go back to school to do something else.. but as i got older it did, and i just didnt want to waste so many years of my life, and time, going to school for something i really wouldnt end up enjoying.
so anyhow, i wont be an RN as i had hoped when i first really decided to go to school to become a nurse, but an LPN/LVN is just as good for right now. this is something i was born to do, i naturally have this thing in me to care for people. when you choose to do something as a career, and it is something you love that comes natural, its not really a "job"... you're getting paid to do something you love to do. how wonderful is that?
I'm looking forward to ending my time at gurnick academy, getting my ass out there and working, and eventually heading back to school. now my big dilemma is once Im a nurse, what do i want to do? med-surg? oncology? etc... and all i can tell myself is to let god direct me. as ive said in previous posts, once i stopped having to have so much control over my life, (which was fairly recently) things fell into place for me. god will not allow me to fall without having another plan for me... and as long as i am doing my best and putting in the effort, i will get to go exactly where i need to be! god hasn't disappointed me yet, there has always been a second, third, or even fourth plan for me that always seemed to work. the day it wont work is the day i give up on myself. yes, god is a miracle worker, but god alone can not get me where i need to be... he can only guide me. i have to put the work into what i want myself and follow gods lead. i have absolute faith in myself and god to get me to where i am supposed to be in life! and i am SO beyond excited to get started on this new journey as a nurse! <3
...and now its back to cleaning :)
