I can NOT sleep, and ive been looking up the most random things online and i think that is why my brain will not allow me to sleep. that and fighting off a major migraine a few hours ago. IN ADVANCE.. PLEASE forgive the typos. i probably will not edit this once i write it. im hoping this will make me feel tired. its been a while since ive typed up anything like this :)
I decided to come up with a top ten list of things you miss and exchange them for as a military wife.. and really as a family. you know how hard it is for me to think of JUST 10 THINGS? very.... i already have a slew coming to me which is why i had to jump up out of bed and type them out before i forgot.
You know, choosing to be an active duty military family for a career to me is very different than i think anyone can imagine unless your husband (family) has decided to do this as a career. This is why as time goes on, i feel myself detaching a bit from my old life and settling ok into this life now and almost at a loss for what it will be like when we are done with this career. it is becoming all ive known as an adult, and raising my kids, and i kind of dont mind it, aside from missing on the stuff back home. there is not a person that can relate to my life style back home.. not from a career perspective and moving around like we have, so the other families i have met along the way that have become my family, i really cherish because they get it! :)
ON WITH THE COUNT DOWN! in NO particular order.. come on, it IS 2am here, way too late to care about ordering for this OCD chick... ;P
1. You MISS OUT on family dinners for holidays which can sometimes turn routine or result in feuds. you dont have moms traditional plate and your aunts home made pie she has every year. INSTEAD... you get to have a new face at the table or go to a new friends home for dinner and share fond memories of dinners back home, and really appreciate those memories. You share one of your family traditional dishes with others and have a dish you never had before. This make you appreciate family more because you cant be with them, and you think about the day when you will be able to have a nice family dinner with them again.
2. You MISS OUT of friends getting married and having children of their own and your friends kids growing up with yours and the dream you once had of living next door to your best friend doesnt happen. INSTEAD you get to meet a TON of new people, your kids have best friends all over the U.S. and maybe over seas, and every chance you get to talk to your best friend on the phone it puts a smile on your heart because had you lived so close to one another, you wouldnt appreciate your friend the way you do being away from them. with every visit back home, you realize just how much you miss your friend, but also just how special they are and unique from the military friends you now have... its something very special :)
3. you MISS OUT on feeling like any new place is home and just when you get used to being somewhere, your up and moving again! in EXCHANGE, you know you ALWAYS have a place to call home when you go visit your home town... you know someone will always let you crash at their place. You have memories of special events that took place at certain locations... you leave your foot prints and will always have places to go back and visit once you settle down. like for us, Florida is where we really became a family. i will always remember florida for that. it is our home away from home. California is where life changed again for us and Mark made chief and i will be finishing college. Some day, it will be nice to travel again to the places we had lived and say "remember when..."
4. you MISS OUT on nights out with your friends, and doing each others makeup and hair and asking them how do i look and them giving you an honest opinion..and going to the same little dive bar on the corner every so often where people know you.INSTEAD, you can have a new friend to go out with every time you go out. you dont have to love the person your hanging out with because in a few months maybe theyre moving... but for right now, theyre actually pretty cool to hang with, you havent known them that long so you havent had enough time to figure out what annoys you about them. Or maybe you really click with them and you know you will both be stationed here for 4 years, so you have 4 years to cram in everything you can without the BS because you dont have time to waste on BS!
5. You MISS OUT on your husband having a regular 9-5 job with weekends off. INSTEAD its pretty random at times, sometimes they do work weekends, but sometimes they get extra days off of work too. The unpredictable schedule gives you a chance to catch up on some house chores or treat yourself to a pedicure, or watch some really awful reality tv show your husband hates while you wait for him to get home.
6. you MISS OUT on being able to sleep next to your husband every night and sometimes for 6 months or more at a time. INSTEEEEAAADDD.... you get the ENTIRE BED to yourself, you can spread out, sleep witha light on, or the tv, have your kids snuggle with you on those nights, eat in bed, wear your footie jammies, ...whatever you wanna do because the entire bed is yours!
7. you MISS OUT on being able to eat at your favorite places that are 'back home' and even if you try to attempt to make your favorite food, you cant find all the ingredients you need at your local stores in your new town. INSTEAD... you learn to improvise, or try a new dish to cook for dinner, or get take out at a restaurant youve never heard of before then tell your friends back home all about it.
8. you MISS OUT on taking your kids to do things that you did as a kid unless you do some really careful planning and even then its just not enough time. INSTEAD, when you do get the chance to show your child where you grew up and played, its pretty special because its not a place down the road they can go to any time they want... you know they wouldnt.... how many times have you complained about not having a gym to go to then when you find one within walking distance how often have you gone? if youre like me, not that often!
9. you MISS OUT on bonding with your younger family members the way you imagined it would be when your brother told you he was having a child...and every time you see them it is almost like reintroducing yourself to them then you have to leave and it can be heart breaking. INSTEAD you can create a really special bond with them long distance in unique ways and when you come to town they are really excited that the coolest aunt in the world is coming to visit! ;P
10. you MISS OUT on tradition.. which isnt always a bad thing. trying to keep up with traditions when you are moving around and life is fairly rapidly changing can be a challenge. INSTEAD you choose a traditional cookie recipe to make for christmas or try a new way of exchanging gifts long distance and its not as stressful trying to keep up with all these traditions and no one is looking over your shoulder making sure you are doing the traditions or even doing them correct! can you imagine if your mother knew you werent using grandmas china for christmas dinner that year... the same dish set thats been used every thanksgiving for the last 50 years!? and you wanted to use a new, much cooler dish set you just bought? she may just pass out! but its YOUR house, YOUR new tradition of not having much tradition... you pick and choose which traditions are important to you rather than doing all of the traditions because well.. youd just collapse trying to keep everything perfect as though life around you hadnt changed.
11. (yes 11, a bonus one.. arent you lucky!!) you "MISS OUT" on getting family member hand me downs you dont have room for. shucks. All those damn dishes from all 4 of your grandparents that mom dug out of their attics in 1976 cant POSSIBLY survive a move across the country! whatever shall you do? INSTEAD you can buy a new dish set :) you can pick and choose what you will and can not/will not accept because you may not have room or it could break etc...
and THAT my friends is my 'top ten' things you miss out on and exchange for something else. its a good life, enjoy it while you can. the good, the bad AND yes the ugly because some day it will be all over. ive been in this life style for 8 years and not everything gets easier, but you just adjust and make things work, and become stronger and learn things you never would have known had you stayed "home" all your life and not ventured past the mississippi lol. :) HOWEVER, i WILL be very happy to move back to new england some day or at least within a few hours drive of my friends and family who i adore so much <3
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