One of our worse fears as parents is that something may be wrong with our children. my children are great, healthy, wonderful kids. I wish this for their future. Sometimes, we don't know there is Something different about our children until they are older.
...it is happening... the signs are clear...i've been through this... now... what do i do?
I wanted to come home and have a good cry is what i wanted to do. instead.. i blog. maybe someone else is in a similar position or maybe i can help someone.
My son is showing signs of anxiety. for the last 2 years little things have happened, and over the last few months it has gotten worse. Boy, this is a familiar story. My mother "suffers" from anxiety, it pretty much runs in my family. well say that. i am anxious, i had horrible panic attacks in high school, and my very first real episode of panic i was about 12.
Brody has become extremely anxious about death. this is really familiar to me, because i really remember this happening to me also as a little girl, but not to the point it drives my son to. when i was a kid, i remember thinking to myself.. the world just goes on and on and on??? there's no end? i just could not comprehend it. my little boy.. this was his problem tonight, as many times this is what hes afraid of. perfectly normal for this age group i understand, but my son had a full blown anxiety attack. im self diagnosis that btw, but after having this for so many years, i know it when i see it. so what do i do??...
my husband just came home after being away for over 2 weeks, we just got back from having an afternoon full of activities.. each boy got their hair cut... mommy got some new makeup, took a trip to target to look at legos and Nintendo games... then to game stop... and off to dinner. it was good. on our way home the sun is just about set, we are sitting in the car... my husband and i are talking when out of absolutely nowhere my son starts to freak out.. screaming in the car...mark and i look at each other in the dark, and hes kind of confused as to what happened but i know exactly what has happened.. and think i know what to do. My boy is worried about the world and that it isn't ever going to end and him living forever and ever.. a concept even i do not fully understand myself and it just instantly takes me back to being a little girl... wondering these same things myself. "why is this happening to my kid?"...
For his sake, i hope this goes away, but i know all too well it just may not be. so what do i do? i start with what i know, i start with everything ive read about anxiety, everything thats worked for me. i use touch to keep him as calm as i can in the moving vehicle.. put my hand on his knee, and just rub his knee...i teach him to breath... several times, just breathing... in 1-2-3 out 1-2-3- lets do that 5 times.. lets do that 1 more time.. lets focus on breathing.. lets try to minimize this anxiety so we can talk.
its late for them, near bed time.. he gets like this especially around this time. Once he is semi-calm.. i try to talk about something else. not to minimize his feelings, but the timing is all wrong for an in-depth convo about this topic... i ask about his day at school.. and he tells me he is learning math. we get talking about fractions. "you know mommy just isn't that great with fractions.. did you learn more about fractions after the homework assignment we went over together." once hes a bit more calm, i get more in depth about the math.. give an example of a math problem... mark chimes in... this is all working. he doesn't seem like he is in panic mode.. hes voice calmer.. hes able to focus on the question being asked and give appropriate answers...
we are near home and as we get closer he is back to normal as if nothing has ever happened. i really want to cry.. i feel like this is the beginning of me giving my kid the bad gene of anxiety.. but i also know, that at this little age of his, and with us being so close, its the perfect opportunity to teach him techniques and maybe this thing will either go away or at least not ever consume him. i don't want my kid to feel like a freak of nature.
these days, it is so common, so (we) he is lucky for that. many people have this. as a boy, and some day a man, i see how this could potentially threaten him in the future.
As of right now, well just keep trucking along and hope it gets better and if not, down the road we can go to a dr. but at this point, he is ok. he is an outgoing boy, and sometimes he gets a little embarrassed and i try to ease that for him, teach him ways to deal with that feeling. hes a lot like me in that aspect too. i also feel he is too young to get too in depth about my problem with anxiety, and just how bad i used to have it. that i think could make him more anxious, but for him to know we all have feelings like this sometimes, and we just have to figure out a way to live in this world with it, to me, that is important at this point. anxiety is not always a terrible thing, but when it gets to panic mode where you cant function or it consumes your life, that is different. At another time, if he brings the issue up of the world going on and on we will talk about it, or during the day when hes in a good mood, maybe i will hint at it a bit to see if he is ready to talk about it. to never bring it up again though would send a negative message to him i feel. "we brush things under the rug that we don't understand or that brings out an emotion in us that we don't want to deal with." not healthy.
we are also getting him into karate classes. He is a confident boy, but for more reasons than one, i feel activities like this, will build him up more, make him feel better about himself, and leave a hell of a lot less room for anxiety or anything that may be negative to him.
...one day at a time, well just work through it.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Monday, March 11, 2013
Friday, March 9, 2012
You know you're a couponing junkie when...
not all of these apply to me, however, just noticing some friends are starting to really take off with the couponing and with all these tv shows, thought it'd be funk to do a finish the sentence kind of thing...
You know youre a couponing junkie when:
1. you're excited about someone elses savings
2. ..if the kids are starving youll tell them to wait a minute so you can finish watching Dr phil or whatever is on, but if you get an email notification on your cell phone for new printable coupons your ass is flying off that couch to go print off your coupons!
3. you wake up at 7:30am and start your computer to search for the latest coupon deals... before getting your coffee, before getting your kids ready for school...
4. a trip alone to the grocery store so you can 'focus' has become more appealing to you than a date night out with your spouse.
5. you have a stock pile of 50 bottles of K.Y. jelly but you're not having sex because you're too busy looking for coupons.
6. you'll drive 20 minutes to get the latest deals at cvs but a 5 minute drive to get your husbands dry cleaning is a hassle.
7. you're thinking right now, about looking for a coupon as soon as you're done reading this.
8. you'll let a call go to voice mail if its your mother but if a friend calls about a coupon she just found that you HAVE to get, you'll answer it.
9. You've spent time convincing your child, in the grocery store, that they don't want a particular cereal, that they should get this other brand because you have a coupon for it.
10. You've managed to convince your husband to switch brands of body wash/deoderant that hes been using since before you met each other, because you dont have a coupon for that brand.
11. you'll spend 2 hours looking for a good coupon but complain when you have to fold the laundry because it takes too long.
12. The house is stocked with food from all the purchases you made with your coupons, but you go to mcdonalds for dinner because you're too exhausted to cook after the major shopping trip you just did.
13. you get mad at your husband for buying shaving cream after he ran out so you tell him he should have consulted with you first to see if you had a coupon for it! which you did!
You know youre a couponing junkie when:
1. you're excited about someone elses savings
2. ..if the kids are starving youll tell them to wait a minute so you can finish watching Dr phil or whatever is on, but if you get an email notification on your cell phone for new printable coupons your ass is flying off that couch to go print off your coupons!
3. you wake up at 7:30am and start your computer to search for the latest coupon deals... before getting your coffee, before getting your kids ready for school...
4. a trip alone to the grocery store so you can 'focus' has become more appealing to you than a date night out with your spouse.
5. you have a stock pile of 50 bottles of K.Y. jelly but you're not having sex because you're too busy looking for coupons.
6. you'll drive 20 minutes to get the latest deals at cvs but a 5 minute drive to get your husbands dry cleaning is a hassle.
7. you're thinking right now, about looking for a coupon as soon as you're done reading this.
8. you'll let a call go to voice mail if its your mother but if a friend calls about a coupon she just found that you HAVE to get, you'll answer it.
9. You've spent time convincing your child, in the grocery store, that they don't want a particular cereal, that they should get this other brand because you have a coupon for it.
10. You've managed to convince your husband to switch brands of body wash/deoderant that hes been using since before you met each other, because you dont have a coupon for that brand.
11. you'll spend 2 hours looking for a good coupon but complain when you have to fold the laundry because it takes too long.
12. The house is stocked with food from all the purchases you made with your coupons, but you go to mcdonalds for dinner because you're too exhausted to cook after the major shopping trip you just did.
13. you get mad at your husband for buying shaving cream after he ran out so you tell him he should have consulted with you first to see if you had a coupon for it! which you did!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Random thoughts about friends and whatever else my brain comes up with while typing this.
I was cleaning the bathrooms this morning and the house is just about silent. When it is silent, my brain usually is not. My brain is always thinking. So as im cleaning behind our filthy toilet (i thought the boys bathroom was discusting until i took a closer look at my own... yuck...) and thinking about military, marriages and familes. Ethan walks in after he is done cleaning off his sink, asking me for a snack for about the 6th time this morning. (uugh!) Mark just left. he came in to take shower after working out, and by the way, walked all over the clean floor with his boots on dispite me yelling back to him AND ethan that i was washing the floor and not to walk on it.
Anyways.... enough side tracking...
So im cleaning behind the toilet and thinking of the people i know, the friends ive met over the years, what made those friendships successful, when i felt my best and worse etc. I am big on believing that it does take a village to raise a child, family is important, and strength comes in numbers. This has been tested even more so since being Military and having kids and having to be so far from my family. I have kind of adopted friends as family, and even if i was not too close to my kids friends parents, my kids were able to have close friendships and i atleast knew the parent and we were friendly to eachother, look out for eachothers kids etc.
In florida, i had an amazing network of other military spouses and mothers. it was a perfect experience for me. south carolina i didnt really have much of that with the military folks. it was a small command and communication i felt was poor. but i did meet some amazing people through brodys school a few months before we had to leave. south carolina i would say was where the biggest toll was put on my family. we made the best of it though. we thought that would have been a good move for us, and in a way, it was, because it made our family stronger i believe. Here in CA, this move seems to be good for our entire family. I never would have thought this but so far i really love it here.
i like knowing that i have atleast 1-3 people i can depend on to joke with, vent to, or ask for a favor and i can be the same kind of friend for them. we need that. its a part of being human.
and Sometimes we have to weed out the people who seem to have a pattern of trouble. even if the person is not intentionally doing things to make things difficult, there comes a time when either there is going to be a change or its time to move on from the friendship, and there is nothing wrong with that. ready for a corny quote? "weeds stunt the growth of what could be a beautiful garden." its true though :)
and now i am going to enjoy this gloomy day with ethie Bee :)
Anyways.... enough side tracking...
So im cleaning behind the toilet and thinking of the people i know, the friends ive met over the years, what made those friendships successful, when i felt my best and worse etc. I am big on believing that it does take a village to raise a child, family is important, and strength comes in numbers. This has been tested even more so since being Military and having kids and having to be so far from my family. I have kind of adopted friends as family, and even if i was not too close to my kids friends parents, my kids were able to have close friendships and i atleast knew the parent and we were friendly to eachother, look out for eachothers kids etc.
In florida, i had an amazing network of other military spouses and mothers. it was a perfect experience for me. south carolina i didnt really have much of that with the military folks. it was a small command and communication i felt was poor. but i did meet some amazing people through brodys school a few months before we had to leave. south carolina i would say was where the biggest toll was put on my family. we made the best of it though. we thought that would have been a good move for us, and in a way, it was, because it made our family stronger i believe. Here in CA, this move seems to be good for our entire family. I never would have thought this but so far i really love it here.
i like knowing that i have atleast 1-3 people i can depend on to joke with, vent to, or ask for a favor and i can be the same kind of friend for them. we need that. its a part of being human.
and Sometimes we have to weed out the people who seem to have a pattern of trouble. even if the person is not intentionally doing things to make things difficult, there comes a time when either there is going to be a change or its time to move on from the friendship, and there is nothing wrong with that. ready for a corny quote? "weeds stunt the growth of what could be a beautiful garden." its true though :)
and now i am going to enjoy this gloomy day with ethie Bee :)
Friday, July 29, 2011
values and other stuff some people may or may not care about.
Be prepared for some typos and such because i probably wont review this to correct them. :)
So, we have been in california for over a month now and so far we are really loving it here. i was vaccuming the couch a few minutes ago and thought i should probably blog because i was thinking about something. actually, the last several days i have been really thinking about several things. One of them is what i value, and what other people value, and how sometimes it can be perceived in a way its not meant to be.
anyhow, when we moved into base housing i didnt realyl know too much of what to expect. i thought ok this could be a really positive thing or really bad, but its for 2 years and it will be a good experience. we moved into this house, i bawled my eyes out because i didnt think our king size bed would fit in our room, and honestly, it wasnt about the bed... i had just been overwhelmed. even though our road trip here was AMAZING and almost perfect, it is still stressful and i guess that day my stress came out emotionally. after a good cry, i was better. later that night, i realized how ridiculus it was that i had cried...thats when i realized it wasnt over just the bed...
so with every move i try my best to make our house our home... with my things, decorated the way i like it within our means. when mark and i first got together he had practically nothing after going through a breakup with someone else, he just left that situation and started fresh. he had a bed, 2 tvs, a cooler, a table with no chairs, a fouton, and a dresser made out of cynder blocks and wood... and a tv stand made of cynder blocks and wood. honestly, thats about it! but we were happy. :) then we were very lucky to get some pieces of furniture we purchased from another coworker of marks when he was moving, and then my brother helped us get some things, and we purchased a couch together. brand new. that was exciting!
we always made the best out of what we had and we still do. we finally stepped into the current times with technology about a year 1/2 ago. we felt we deserved it, we went a long time doing things the right way, paying down our bills and not worrying about having new things. it wasnt a big deal! we worked on getting our credit better and things like that.
so in south carolina we made our house our home updating some of our things and it felt really good to be able to put a little more effor tinto making our home a bit nicer. not expensive, just better... i am pretty thrifty if you didnt know that about me :)
when we were kids we got tons of hand me downs. actually, im not sure when there was a time we got something brand new. i know we did i just cant rememebr a time. i had the same bed from the time i was 4 until i moved out and met mark. it wasnt important and honestly that damn bed was comfy even if it did sag in the middle ha! I was really proud the day i purchased a brand new desk for my room as a teenager. i remember my moms husband helping me put that thing together. but i worked my butt off to get that thing and it cost about 80 bucks. i had been working at dominos and we had gotten a bit of extra cash... it was around the holidays. i thought at the time 80 bucks was a lot for me. i used that desk until we moved from maine to florida when it finally start falling apart. it was the story behind the desk that made it important to me. its the story behind some of my things that make them important to me. i am so appreciative of what i have. i always have been. i value a nice home with things in it that have a story, or were given to me by someone special, or my art i put on my walls, my pictures of my friends, the lamp on my desk that belonged to my grandmother, i look around my own house and i see things that remind me of good times in my life and struggling times and saving, and things like that.
so when i go into someone elses home, i feel the same. i like to look around and see what their house looks like, you can gain a lot from looking around someones home and seeing what they value, what is important to them.. i learn a bit of who they are and what they like. do they have pictures of friends and family around everywhere? do they have a giant cook book full of old recipes? plants in every corner of the room? toys all over the floor? whatever it is... clean or messy, a room full of junk or an almost bare house... theres a story behind it.
living in military housing and picking up moving every 1-3 years (for us anyhow) its a chore somtimes... but i want to make my home feel like it is my own and not someone elses. this is where my kids will grow up and memories they will have. for me, i want them to have good memories and as normal as i can make it for them. with a comfortable, normal feeling home, with pets, and pictures on our walls, and stains on the rug if they make them, and toys in the bath tub that never get out, and a mess in their room from having kids come over and playing, and i want to deal with foot prints on my floor from them walking around with their dirty wet/muddy feet from playing in the water outside... you get my point. this is our life. everyone makes what they want of their lives, and for military families, it really is different than civilian life at times. everyone will choose something different for their family and this is my choice :) ive been very accepting over the last 6 months especially that this is our life, that i may not go home for 2 years, that my kids may not be around their cousins and uncles for a while... but we make the best of it, do video chats, write letters, make phone calls, hang pictures so we dont forget them adn when we do get to go home, we take advantage of seeing everyone we can and making good memories. i feel were on the right track and making this military life work for us instead of against us (me) and everything i ever wanted for my family and my kids especially :)
so i guess theres a bit of a moral to the story... dont look down on someone who doesnt appear to have as much as you do, and dont look down on someone who has more than you do. just be thankful with what you have. our spouses work every work day, long hours. some of us come from fortunate families and some of us do not. some of us value nice things, some of us do not. to some of us its important to have the trendiest things, adn to others it is not. wherever these things are on your scale of value and importance, it is ok and dont be ashamed of that. people will probably judge.. and maybe thats because they value things a bit different than you do! :)
So, we have been in california for over a month now and so far we are really loving it here. i was vaccuming the couch a few minutes ago and thought i should probably blog because i was thinking about something. actually, the last several days i have been really thinking about several things. One of them is what i value, and what other people value, and how sometimes it can be perceived in a way its not meant to be.
anyhow, when we moved into base housing i didnt realyl know too much of what to expect. i thought ok this could be a really positive thing or really bad, but its for 2 years and it will be a good experience. we moved into this house, i bawled my eyes out because i didnt think our king size bed would fit in our room, and honestly, it wasnt about the bed... i had just been overwhelmed. even though our road trip here was AMAZING and almost perfect, it is still stressful and i guess that day my stress came out emotionally. after a good cry, i was better. later that night, i realized how ridiculus it was that i had cried...thats when i realized it wasnt over just the bed...
so with every move i try my best to make our house our home... with my things, decorated the way i like it within our means. when mark and i first got together he had practically nothing after going through a breakup with someone else, he just left that situation and started fresh. he had a bed, 2 tvs, a cooler, a table with no chairs, a fouton, and a dresser made out of cynder blocks and wood... and a tv stand made of cynder blocks and wood. honestly, thats about it! but we were happy. :) then we were very lucky to get some pieces of furniture we purchased from another coworker of marks when he was moving, and then my brother helped us get some things, and we purchased a couch together. brand new. that was exciting!
we always made the best out of what we had and we still do. we finally stepped into the current times with technology about a year 1/2 ago. we felt we deserved it, we went a long time doing things the right way, paying down our bills and not worrying about having new things. it wasnt a big deal! we worked on getting our credit better and things like that.
so in south carolina we made our house our home updating some of our things and it felt really good to be able to put a little more effor tinto making our home a bit nicer. not expensive, just better... i am pretty thrifty if you didnt know that about me :)
when we were kids we got tons of hand me downs. actually, im not sure when there was a time we got something brand new. i know we did i just cant rememebr a time. i had the same bed from the time i was 4 until i moved out and met mark. it wasnt important and honestly that damn bed was comfy even if it did sag in the middle ha! I was really proud the day i purchased a brand new desk for my room as a teenager. i remember my moms husband helping me put that thing together. but i worked my butt off to get that thing and it cost about 80 bucks. i had been working at dominos and we had gotten a bit of extra cash... it was around the holidays. i thought at the time 80 bucks was a lot for me. i used that desk until we moved from maine to florida when it finally start falling apart. it was the story behind the desk that made it important to me. its the story behind some of my things that make them important to me. i am so appreciative of what i have. i always have been. i value a nice home with things in it that have a story, or were given to me by someone special, or my art i put on my walls, my pictures of my friends, the lamp on my desk that belonged to my grandmother, i look around my own house and i see things that remind me of good times in my life and struggling times and saving, and things like that.
so when i go into someone elses home, i feel the same. i like to look around and see what their house looks like, you can gain a lot from looking around someones home and seeing what they value, what is important to them.. i learn a bit of who they are and what they like. do they have pictures of friends and family around everywhere? do they have a giant cook book full of old recipes? plants in every corner of the room? toys all over the floor? whatever it is... clean or messy, a room full of junk or an almost bare house... theres a story behind it.
living in military housing and picking up moving every 1-3 years (for us anyhow) its a chore somtimes... but i want to make my home feel like it is my own and not someone elses. this is where my kids will grow up and memories they will have. for me, i want them to have good memories and as normal as i can make it for them. with a comfortable, normal feeling home, with pets, and pictures on our walls, and stains on the rug if they make them, and toys in the bath tub that never get out, and a mess in their room from having kids come over and playing, and i want to deal with foot prints on my floor from them walking around with their dirty wet/muddy feet from playing in the water outside... you get my point. this is our life. everyone makes what they want of their lives, and for military families, it really is different than civilian life at times. everyone will choose something different for their family and this is my choice :) ive been very accepting over the last 6 months especially that this is our life, that i may not go home for 2 years, that my kids may not be around their cousins and uncles for a while... but we make the best of it, do video chats, write letters, make phone calls, hang pictures so we dont forget them adn when we do get to go home, we take advantage of seeing everyone we can and making good memories. i feel were on the right track and making this military life work for us instead of against us (me) and everything i ever wanted for my family and my kids especially :)
so i guess theres a bit of a moral to the story... dont look down on someone who doesnt appear to have as much as you do, and dont look down on someone who has more than you do. just be thankful with what you have. our spouses work every work day, long hours. some of us come from fortunate families and some of us do not. some of us value nice things, some of us do not. to some of us its important to have the trendiest things, adn to others it is not. wherever these things are on your scale of value and importance, it is ok and dont be ashamed of that. people will probably judge.. and maybe thats because they value things a bit different than you do! :)
Monday, August 2, 2010
EEEhhhh
So mark is getting ready to leave bright and early tomorrow. He will be gone for about 6 weeks. There is no one that can tell me 'thats the life style' i hate that.. yes, it is, yes i knew these things would happen, but no matter how many notifications you get about a loved one leaving for any length of time or how well you think you have prepared, you cant tell your feelings and mind to shutup... its like having a baby.. you can read all the books and get all the knick knacks, but your still not ever really ready...
i know for sure if i was near loved ones this would be so much easier to deal with. but then again i just dont feel like i really belong anywhere. we havent had time to settle here all together yet, so i feel like part of me is still scattered. i dont feel like home is RI, maine, or here. if anywhere, florida is where i feel i left a lot behind because thats where we spend the majority of our lives as a family..
im trying to get brody ready for school and soccer and im glad he will be very occupied. i am trying to start school again in january and im not sure how im going to do all of this and if mark will be leaving again for weeks at a time, if the school will be flexible with my schedule... and i doubt it. its a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and im going to have to deal with that when the time comes...all i do know is i have to get my ass in school and finish even if it mentally kills me. its 18 months of hell i had started to do before, and i will and can do it again.
..but for now, i have mark leaving tomorrow. i have to look at things in chunks. this is the 6 week chunk.. so for 6 weeks i have to figure out what im going to do, how im going to deal with it... then when he gets home, thats another chunk, then school in january, thats another chunk...etc... so these 6 weeks....eh...
ive been feeling a little depressed now and then just because im lonely and here by myself without much to do or anywhere to go. and if i do go somewhere, its no fun being alone, or just with the kids.. all the time. so if i do go anywhere or do anything, its because im making myself because i know if i dont ill get even more depressed and the kids need to get out and do things. i dont even know that i really want to meet people around here right now. if i had it my way, i would just hang around the house all day and not get dressed, watch tv, sleep, eat... lol.. but i cant... thats not a good idea.
so instead ive been exercising lately, and trying to get out atleast 3 times a week, even if its just to a store to look around. i enjoy my glass of wine at night, and taking care of the yard as needed, painting my nails, getting dressed, doing my daily routine stuff to keep that habbit going... and when i need to talk to adults, i have FB, my phone, and my good neighbor.
im just going to hope i can get through these next 6 weeks, and actually, the next 7 days... ill start with that. after 7 days, things should start feeling ok again... once the newness of mark being away again wears off. then ill deal with brodys school, soccer... etc...
so my goal is to get through the next 7 days, keeping everyone happy, cooking meals, living as if mark was right here in the other room. playing my music, watching funny tv shows, playing games with the boys, things like that...
im definitely not cut out to be a military wife lol. well, i am, because i dont have a choice but im not. it takes a lot of self discipline for me to do what i do. i hate being alone, sleeping alone, the dark, i like having mark do certain things for me... but along the way i have learned to do a lot more for myself than i had before... like loading that stinking dish washer, putting away the laundry not just folding it, mow the grass even when its hot out, take the trash to the end of the road etc... idk if other wives are like me and they just dont talk about their feelings like i do, i know i cant be the only one to have these things runnign through my mind.
and the kids.. they actually help keep me more sane than insane, because i have them here, i have to do certain things for them to be happy and live 'normal'... they depend on me to get up every day and put a smile on my face and make life happen.
well i guess this i should go do something else. writting is really a good therapy for me. always has been... and i know i will be just fine.. just need to get my feelings out and on 'paper'
<3
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A mothers emotions about her baby getting older
This is an old post from last year, but worth sharing:
April 11, 2005 Current mood: blessed
i have been so emotional about brody turning 4, not a bad thing, just reminiscing. Having brody marks an incredible turning point in my life that i feel i am still continuing. i felt like sharing some pictures and quotes from a journal i started for my boys around the time i found out i was pregnant with brody. once in a while i still write in it. enjoy! :)
before you were born:" you are going to change my life forever, its scary sometimes because its reality, but ill never regret any of this""In 10 years from now, i will hold this book and rememebr being so young, and so in love with your daddy , and im going to say how time has passed by so fast...it always does!
"December 5, 2004 " hello baby boy! we found out november 18, which was thursday. we were so excited! i knew you were a boy! we got your crib, stroller, and car seat. mom proudly put the stroller together. daddy got us a new house too right next to my mother, you will have your own room! we got our first snow yesterday. youve been kicking like crazy lately. its so nice to feel you move"
February 17, 2005 "Hey brody hunny. just afew ore weeks to go! Now let me share some news with you. my belly button is really polking out, and i have my first tiny stretchmarks. Your always kicking in my ribs now and i jump. Ooh it bothers me. its like your foot is resting on my side, then you push like pushing yourself off the wall of a pool."
"dads leaving in june and i feel like i cant and wont be able to keep myself together. i have to for you and my sanity, but i still feel like i need help. "
"im working at friendlys and the gap 1 daya week each and going to school to be a CNA. me and your father painted your bedroom and ducky bathroom. even though youre not here yet i 'see' so much of your father in you. i imagine what you wil look like, dads cheeks, big eyes, and smile, but my lips, your dads nose, my hairline :) dads ears, and his smarts. "
"i gained 25 pounds and i hear you have a big head"
November 2005 "you are amazing! a perfect baby, a perfect blend of me and your dad. you love to be tickled and i always make time for that! i love to take you shopping with me. we have fun. daddy s on deployment through the navy and will be home december 8th. "
"...i will always believe in you even if you are at your wost point in life. im going to be here for you."
August 3, 2006 " you learned how to kiss! we went to RI and you kised cousin sam. You make the funniest expressions...theres this one face you make you scrunch up your face and make this 'laugh' sound. everyone gets a kick out of it. you have full conversations even though noone knows what you are saying. you love electronics, especially the phone and computer. "
" i love the little boy you are . youre already an awesome goofy kid you blow farts on my arm, and dance, and your feet smell too! Every day i discover something new i love about you."
April 11, 2005 Current mood: blessed
i have been so emotional about brody turning 4, not a bad thing, just reminiscing. Having brody marks an incredible turning point in my life that i feel i am still continuing. i felt like sharing some pictures and quotes from a journal i started for my boys around the time i found out i was pregnant with brody. once in a while i still write in it. enjoy! :)
before you were born:" you are going to change my life forever, its scary sometimes because its reality, but ill never regret any of this""In 10 years from now, i will hold this book and rememebr being so young, and so in love with your daddy , and im going to say how time has passed by so fast...it always does!
"December 5, 2004 " hello baby boy! we found out november 18, which was thursday. we were so excited! i knew you were a boy! we got your crib, stroller, and car seat. mom proudly put the stroller together. daddy got us a new house too right next to my mother, you will have your own room! we got our first snow yesterday. youve been kicking like crazy lately. its so nice to feel you move"
February 17, 2005 "Hey brody hunny. just afew ore weeks to go! Now let me share some news with you. my belly button is really polking out, and i have my first tiny stretchmarks. Your always kicking in my ribs now and i jump. Ooh it bothers me. its like your foot is resting on my side, then you push like pushing yourself off the wall of a pool."
"dads leaving in june and i feel like i cant and wont be able to keep myself together. i have to for you and my sanity, but i still feel like i need help. "
"im working at friendlys and the gap 1 daya week each and going to school to be a CNA. me and your father painted your bedroom and ducky bathroom. even though youre not here yet i 'see' so much of your father in you. i imagine what you wil look like, dads cheeks, big eyes, and smile, but my lips, your dads nose, my hairline :) dads ears, and his smarts. "
"i gained 25 pounds and i hear you have a big head"
November 2005 "you are amazing! a perfect baby, a perfect blend of me and your dad. you love to be tickled and i always make time for that! i love to take you shopping with me. we have fun. daddy s on deployment through the navy and will be home december 8th. "
"...i will always believe in you even if you are at your wost point in life. im going to be here for you."
August 3, 2006 " you learned how to kiss! we went to RI and you kised cousin sam. You make the funniest expressions...theres this one face you make you scrunch up your face and make this 'laugh' sound. everyone gets a kick out of it. you have full conversations even though noone knows what you are saying. you love electronics, especially the phone and computer. "
" i love the little boy you are . youre already an awesome goofy kid you blow farts on my arm, and dance, and your feet smell too! Every day i discover something new i love about you."
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
'You Lost' ...and a baseball story
To get Brody and Ethan moving their bum-bums in the morning ill have them race to get dressed, but Brody is usually slower than Ethan just because Brody is just not paying attention. so I usually hear ethan say 'oh yeah I won!' and Brody feels sad... so anyways It has helped Brody to get dressed faster, adn pretty much anything I want them to do, if they are not doing it I make a game of it...
SO I did this to get them in the car too (get their belts on and stuff etc... just to get out the door and to school on time!) so anyways, lately i hear Brody saying 'Oh yeah I won, you lose!' Then Ethan would say the same thing...'You lose!' whenever he would win...well i didnt like that... 'you lose'?????
So i explained to my boys, ' you finished first, he finished second....everyone won because you didnt give up. you only lose when you give up' Brody seems to really understand this.
When Brody played baseball we were pretty srtict with him finishing a game. he decided he wanted to play he was going to finish the game even if that meant he just sat on the bench or stood in the outfield, he was going to be there with his team.. he was apart of that team. I dont want him to get used to giving up so easy and it being ok. if he really really hated baseball i wouldnt make him go, but he did like it. he just got side tracked here and there now and then especialyl in the beginning when they were all just learning...(well it was a little boring sometimes!)
i remember hearing one grandmother of another kid say 'that boy doesnt want to be here he should go home' talking about brody, not knowing i was his mom. i ignored it but i really wanted to give her a piece of my mind because hes just a kid.. he was having an off day...
funny thing though is that at next practice, her grandson was fussing, crying, whinning, not wanting to play and well he didnt go home. they had him stick it out... but the grandmother wasnt there that day...unfortunately! kinda wish she got to see that so she could see all kids have bad days!
ok so back to my story...
so i started thinking about that statement in the adult world and how true i feel that really is. we dont lose until we give up. we are not losers unless we giveup. I started thinking about some of the decisions i know others have made and if they are, by my statement well... a loser lol. and the outcome is YES because they gave up on something they could have worked harder on. Like Dr. Phil says (lol) dont give up until you have tried absolutely everything, everything in your power... mostly speaking on marriages and divorce, but i agree with this.
So then i started to think about my schooling, and replacing the word 'loser' with 'failure' i am not a failure until i give up, before all other options were tried. and im certainly not ready to do that. I havent tried everything yet. With everything i do i try to do it with all of me...all that is inside of me. Same goes for my close relationships and trying everything i can to salvage the important ones.. upkeep them, kind of like a spring cleaning...make a phone call if its been a while... send a note..whatever... you get my point...
with relationships they all need a little tweak now and then or a clean up... you part a little, get close again...etc... this is just the way it is and its ok.
I have a best friend who i have known for 22 years and not all of those 22 years did we get along, or were always hanging out, etc... mostly in middle school we kind of drifted a little bit, but we were still friends and friendly. we found other friends too, and then eventually we got closer again and now still she is one of the 3 people i consider my 'best' friend'. she definitely holds the number 1 spot though because weve known eachother SOOOOOOO long.
SO I did this to get them in the car too (get their belts on and stuff etc... just to get out the door and to school on time!) so anyways, lately i hear Brody saying 'Oh yeah I won, you lose!' Then Ethan would say the same thing...'You lose!' whenever he would win...well i didnt like that... 'you lose'?????
So i explained to my boys, ' you finished first, he finished second....everyone won because you didnt give up. you only lose when you give up' Brody seems to really understand this.
When Brody played baseball we were pretty srtict with him finishing a game. he decided he wanted to play he was going to finish the game even if that meant he just sat on the bench or stood in the outfield, he was going to be there with his team.. he was apart of that team. I dont want him to get used to giving up so easy and it being ok. if he really really hated baseball i wouldnt make him go, but he did like it. he just got side tracked here and there now and then especialyl in the beginning when they were all just learning...(well it was a little boring sometimes!)
i remember hearing one grandmother of another kid say 'that boy doesnt want to be here he should go home' talking about brody, not knowing i was his mom. i ignored it but i really wanted to give her a piece of my mind because hes just a kid.. he was having an off day...
funny thing though is that at next practice, her grandson was fussing, crying, whinning, not wanting to play and well he didnt go home. they had him stick it out... but the grandmother wasnt there that day...unfortunately! kinda wish she got to see that so she could see all kids have bad days!
ok so back to my story...
so i started thinking about that statement in the adult world and how true i feel that really is. we dont lose until we give up. we are not losers unless we giveup. I started thinking about some of the decisions i know others have made and if they are, by my statement well... a loser lol. and the outcome is YES because they gave up on something they could have worked harder on. Like Dr. Phil says (lol) dont give up until you have tried absolutely everything, everything in your power... mostly speaking on marriages and divorce, but i agree with this.
So then i started to think about my schooling, and replacing the word 'loser' with 'failure' i am not a failure until i give up, before all other options were tried. and im certainly not ready to do that. I havent tried everything yet. With everything i do i try to do it with all of me...all that is inside of me. Same goes for my close relationships and trying everything i can to salvage the important ones.. upkeep them, kind of like a spring cleaning...make a phone call if its been a while... send a note..whatever... you get my point...
with relationships they all need a little tweak now and then or a clean up... you part a little, get close again...etc... this is just the way it is and its ok.
I have a best friend who i have known for 22 years and not all of those 22 years did we get along, or were always hanging out, etc... mostly in middle school we kind of drifted a little bit, but we were still friends and friendly. we found other friends too, and then eventually we got closer again and now still she is one of the 3 people i consider my 'best' friend'. she definitely holds the number 1 spot though because weve known eachother SOOOOOOO long.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Introduction
Im going to keep this as short as possible.
My name is Jacquie and i LOVE to write and share certain bits of my personal life lol. im quiet, usually, well, ok, not all the time, i do love to talk. i act like a psychologist im told and its true, but i love to try to help people and i love psychology. i honestly think taking these psych classes has helped me understand quite a bit about myself and other people.
i make a LOT of typos. so sorry... i probably will have words spelled wrong here and there, typos, my I's are rarely capitolized.... w/e this isnt english class. i also tend to write how i speak too... and these little ... i use ofen lol.
SO im 25 years old, im a mom of 2 boys, married for 5 years to a navy man and im a very happy person. i started nursing school last year, but my school sucked horribly and i will be moving soon to another state where i will finish nursing school so in the meantime im a stay at home mother and my oldest son brody, who is 4, is in preschool. So i stay home with my youngest son ethan (aka ethie) while he is at school. we have 2 dogs, a boxer i usually dont like but she is growing on me lately, and harley... my shih tzu who has several nick names like ahr bar, barley, bar bar...etc... my kids also have nick names... several... lol.
Im a northern girl, originally from RI, moved to maine for a few years, and now were in FL. i dont care much for the south, where im at anyways, BUT this weather is growing on me and the people here are definitely different from RI people.
OH look, theres a spell check here. i may or may not use that depending on how lazy i feel.
My mother is italian german and english, i have her italian mouth when i need it, and my dad is cape verdean... most peopel do not know what that is, but i have a lot of pride in my nationality.
i have 4 brothers, a ton of nieces and nephews, a bunch of great friends, and a lot of time on my hands right now! ha!
My name is Jacquie and i LOVE to write and share certain bits of my personal life lol. im quiet, usually, well, ok, not all the time, i do love to talk. i act like a psychologist im told and its true, but i love to try to help people and i love psychology. i honestly think taking these psych classes has helped me understand quite a bit about myself and other people.
i make a LOT of typos. so sorry... i probably will have words spelled wrong here and there, typos, my I's are rarely capitolized.... w/e this isnt english class. i also tend to write how i speak too... and these little ... i use ofen lol.
SO im 25 years old, im a mom of 2 boys, married for 5 years to a navy man and im a very happy person. i started nursing school last year, but my school sucked horribly and i will be moving soon to another state where i will finish nursing school so in the meantime im a stay at home mother and my oldest son brody, who is 4, is in preschool. So i stay home with my youngest son ethan (aka ethie) while he is at school. we have 2 dogs, a boxer i usually dont like but she is growing on me lately, and harley... my shih tzu who has several nick names like ahr bar, barley, bar bar...etc... my kids also have nick names... several... lol.
Im a northern girl, originally from RI, moved to maine for a few years, and now were in FL. i dont care much for the south, where im at anyways, BUT this weather is growing on me and the people here are definitely different from RI people.
OH look, theres a spell check here. i may or may not use that depending on how lazy i feel.
My mother is italian german and english, i have her italian mouth when i need it, and my dad is cape verdean... most peopel do not know what that is, but i have a lot of pride in my nationality.
i have 4 brothers, a ton of nieces and nephews, a bunch of great friends, and a lot of time on my hands right now! ha!
Ethie... We have a problem
I know normally, i should give an introduction first, but right now i have to get my morning tantrum (uh, ethies mornign tantrum) out to the world i guess. Ethan (aka ethie) is my 2 1/2 year old son.
SO the mornign starts off well, sort of. My 2 little boys are snuggling with me in bed, i wake them up to snuggles and tickles, my kids are happy and laughing, and suprizingly, were going to get my older son to school on time. I have to get Brody, my oldest, to school by 8am. so we head on out, get to school adn that is where the trouble starts with ethie.
ohhhh ethie...
i have to put in a code on a screen to get brody into his school...and usually the kids like to push the right buttons to make the door open. ethie likes to push the stop light button for the door to open...well, brody got to it first, so of course ethie flips out. once i get the door open and ethie behind it though, i can atleast drop brody off to class and let ethie flip out for just a second in the hallway at the door. im about 100 feet from him, hes fine.
so off brody goes to class and i grab ethie, now theres probably about 10 people there who hear my child cries and fusses, and i try to explain to ethie when we go to get brody, he then can push the button...
that wasnt going to fly with ethie..
so i get ethie in the car asap, dont even buckle him in yet. i sit there for a minute because i know whats to come next.... hes going to have a bad tantrum.. well, it technically already started, but it wasnt that bad yet. so he refuses to get in his seat. so i turn around in my chair to try to help my wild 2 year old get in his seat...yeah right... so i get out the car, hop in the bac seat to get ethie down in his chair, finally after successfully managing to do that i try to open the door to get out of the car but we have the child protection lock on, so i have to climb in the front seat. so i feel a little silly because now ive been climbing all around the car liek an animal, and im parked right in front of the building. ah well..
so we drive home.. all the way home, the 10 minute drive, ethie is crying and fussing about this button. i try to convince him to get out of the car when we get home, tellign him he can puh the lock button.. ok, so that worked. then i have to try to get him in the house. he loves to close the front door, so i make it sound really exciting "ethie you want to close the door? you can close the door! yay! lets go!" ok, so he starts walking up the drive way as if he is going to walk to daycare so he can push that button.. uuuhh!!!! ethie....
so finally, he starts walking to the door, but doesnt step inside the house...so i close the door on him and peek out the window and tell him" bye bye" and then he gets upset after a few seconds, so i let him in... then he comes in..
after a while of playing do you want to close the door, him saying yes, then not doing it, i gave up. i closed the door and started to clean. ive learned how to dealw ith ethies tantrums. he is nothing liek his older brother, who really was a lot easier lol.... so instead of me getting frustrated, i really do laugh in my head to myself, and i just clean... as long as im up usually its a distractor for both of us.
so i start vaccuming... when i walked in the door one of th dogs got ahold of ethies pull up so there was stuffing all over the place. (clean pullup thankfully. they must have gotten it from my bag!) so im vaccuming. ethie is so upset ... probably because the vaccum is louder than him.. so he comes over to the vaccum adn hits it.. i tell him we do not hit.. and continue to vaccum.. then he practically climbs on the vaccum, trying to turn it off, adn i figure, ok, if hes going to do this, ill make it more difficult for him,.... so i start vaccuming a little out of control lol. i get a laugh out of it in my head as ethie is barely hanging onto the vaccuma dn trying with all his might to turn it off. eventually he goes away. so i throw in a load of laundry, make a bed, get him juice that he threw on the floor.. he also told me not to make brodys bed.. while all of these tasks are bing done of mine, im askign ethie if he wants to help me to distract him but he didnt want to. he just cried at the door.
so ok, 45 minutes later, since the tantrum began, ethie says he wants to close the door, so i tell him ill allow him to do it and he has to be a good boy.. so i did it...and he was just fine... he grabbed his juice, and is now watching sesame street lol.
OHHH ethie.... ethie...ethie....
total tantrum time: 45 minutes.
total stress level from 1-10 on average: 3
total level of patience tested on a 1-10 scale: 10
SO the mornign starts off well, sort of. My 2 little boys are snuggling with me in bed, i wake them up to snuggles and tickles, my kids are happy and laughing, and suprizingly, were going to get my older son to school on time. I have to get Brody, my oldest, to school by 8am. so we head on out, get to school adn that is where the trouble starts with ethie.
ohhhh ethie...
i have to put in a code on a screen to get brody into his school...and usually the kids like to push the right buttons to make the door open. ethie likes to push the stop light button for the door to open...well, brody got to it first, so of course ethie flips out. once i get the door open and ethie behind it though, i can atleast drop brody off to class and let ethie flip out for just a second in the hallway at the door. im about 100 feet from him, hes fine.
so off brody goes to class and i grab ethie, now theres probably about 10 people there who hear my child cries and fusses, and i try to explain to ethie when we go to get brody, he then can push the button...
that wasnt going to fly with ethie..
so i get ethie in the car asap, dont even buckle him in yet. i sit there for a minute because i know whats to come next.... hes going to have a bad tantrum.. well, it technically already started, but it wasnt that bad yet. so he refuses to get in his seat. so i turn around in my chair to try to help my wild 2 year old get in his seat...yeah right... so i get out the car, hop in the bac seat to get ethie down in his chair, finally after successfully managing to do that i try to open the door to get out of the car but we have the child protection lock on, so i have to climb in the front seat. so i feel a little silly because now ive been climbing all around the car liek an animal, and im parked right in front of the building. ah well..
so we drive home.. all the way home, the 10 minute drive, ethie is crying and fussing about this button. i try to convince him to get out of the car when we get home, tellign him he can puh the lock button.. ok, so that worked. then i have to try to get him in the house. he loves to close the front door, so i make it sound really exciting "ethie you want to close the door? you can close the door! yay! lets go!" ok, so he starts walking up the drive way as if he is going to walk to daycare so he can push that button.. uuuhh!!!! ethie....
so finally, he starts walking to the door, but doesnt step inside the house...so i close the door on him and peek out the window and tell him" bye bye" and then he gets upset after a few seconds, so i let him in... then he comes in..
after a while of playing do you want to close the door, him saying yes, then not doing it, i gave up. i closed the door and started to clean. ive learned how to dealw ith ethies tantrums. he is nothing liek his older brother, who really was a lot easier lol.... so instead of me getting frustrated, i really do laugh in my head to myself, and i just clean... as long as im up usually its a distractor for both of us.
so i start vaccuming... when i walked in the door one of th dogs got ahold of ethies pull up so there was stuffing all over the place. (clean pullup thankfully. they must have gotten it from my bag!) so im vaccuming. ethie is so upset ... probably because the vaccum is louder than him.. so he comes over to the vaccum adn hits it.. i tell him we do not hit.. and continue to vaccum.. then he practically climbs on the vaccum, trying to turn it off, adn i figure, ok, if hes going to do this, ill make it more difficult for him,.... so i start vaccuming a little out of control lol. i get a laugh out of it in my head as ethie is barely hanging onto the vaccuma dn trying with all his might to turn it off. eventually he goes away. so i throw in a load of laundry, make a bed, get him juice that he threw on the floor.. he also told me not to make brodys bed.. while all of these tasks are bing done of mine, im askign ethie if he wants to help me to distract him but he didnt want to. he just cried at the door.
so ok, 45 minutes later, since the tantrum began, ethie says he wants to close the door, so i tell him ill allow him to do it and he has to be a good boy.. so i did it...and he was just fine... he grabbed his juice, and is now watching sesame street lol.
OHHH ethie.... ethie...ethie....
total tantrum time: 45 minutes.
total stress level from 1-10 on average: 3
total level of patience tested on a 1-10 scale: 10
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