School, nursing, why choose it?

This is another old post worth sharing on why i chose to go to nursing school. i hope if anyone reading this has any dreams, to follow it, never give up... NEVER...

Monday, February 16, 2009
why choose it?
Current mood: accomplished

i was inspired today in class to write why i decided to get into nursing. and of course i have to include some history! so be patient if you are reading this.
Since i can remember ive always had it in me to care for others. i need to make sure everyone else is ok or i worry. i feel helpless when there is nothing i can do. a great memory i have is taking care of my niece when we were little.... she is 6 years younger than me. id baby sit her, and push her around in her little stroller, she was like my little "baby" lol. one particular time i remember her cutting her knee pretty bad on this gate in the house and i cleaned it up for her and told her it might scar...and it did... so she'll never forget that lol. Ii was always digging around in the first aid kit and playing with those old dot "plastic" thermometers haha. everyone has these roles in the family they take on, i feel like im the caregiver.... im really protective of what/who is "mine". when i was little, and one of my brothers got into some trouble, i remember packing him up some food and clothes so he would be ok. im STILL the same way to him in similar ways.
Ive always been really attached to the older generation in my family (most lol) i LOVED visiting my grandpa tony in the nursing home, my grammy is my strength, my nana helen...i loved visiting her and hearing her old stories..mama... i was so young when she died, but i always had to go upstairs from grammys house to visit with mama (my great grandma). its in me to nurture. I love my nieces and nephews and want to be their rock if they ever need me.
I used to want to be a counselor...still do sometimes. if i can not have a career helping other people i think id bother my children as they age lol.
My first real experience where i discovered nursing is what i needed to do, is when i became a CNA. (i wont get into it, but for me it was a great accomplishment and i proved a whole lot to myself.. its my motivational story for others and myself lol) i worked in a nursing home where i discovered a bit of my family in some of those residents... (MY residents) some did not live close to family, and reminded me so much of one of my elders, i felt in some ways i was able to care for my nana or papa... even though it wasnt my nana or papa.... know what i mean? i loved the personal connection i had. "they" say not to get attached to your patients... theres no way you cant for some of them. ill never forget the day this lady i cared for often, told me when mark came home from deployment she wished she could be a fly on my wall LOL! She had a young soul.
Working in the nursing home, i discovered a real liking for working in geriatrics. i also remember, that same resident who made the fly comment, she was dying and needed assistance... one of the CNA's ignored her calls from the room.... if only she knew that resident the way i did... and i told that CNA the resident needed help. can you imagine the fear in some of those peoples eyes? they know they are dying, she couldnt talk at that point, and she was being treated in a way i thought was wrong. it broke my heart to see that resident that way.. i just went into the room, and held her hand, and let her look at my big pregnant belly. this is when i was pregnant with ethan. many of those people i learned were ok with death, and like this particular resident, she was ready to die. it was sad though hearing her say that when she did, but at the same time, you understand too why they may say that. she couldnt get out of bed anymore, her family rarely came to visit, she lived her life and was tired of us CNA's having to get her out of bed every day just to get back in it 5 hours later. Obviously not everyone feels that way, but she did... so you just try to make their days the best you can. Id do her hair, nails, pick out some nice jewelry for her to wear for the day, her bed had to be made just right... and those things made her happy.
so anyways, i know this is incredibly long, and it is really important to me though to share this with whoever feels like reading it. I was born to care for people, its my job in this world. Its way more than sticking someone with an injection, or filling out a chart, its the caring aspect of it all that makes me feel fullfilled.
In my second job, at the doctors office, that is where i learned more of the tasks that would help me to perform. But also, there were some patients i would see on a regular basis, one particular will never leave my memory. some people have so much strength it amazes me. This 1 woman eventually had lost her voice, she had been through a lot, but every time she came into the office she had a smile on her face and was happy. before i moved to florida, i remember telling her how strong i thought she was and giving her a hug... i wont ever forget her. some people just come into our lives for a reason... for me, people like that instill the need i have in me to go on with this nursing career. I think i will be happier sometimes sticking with nursing vs counseling.
So i think i may do geriatrics in the future. i dont know where this roads gonna take me, but im more than happy to just go with the unexpected, which is something i dont normally like doing, but i think there is a higher power out there that is guiding me in the right direction. years ago i thought i wanted to be a nurse but i didnt persue it...atleast not completely seriously. i think i needed the experience i have now to validate why i needed to choose nursing over everything else. and to be honest, i couldnt be happier right now with my decision!