kids :)

i was going to write a blog about this rut im in but it sounded miserable LOL! and im not miserable.. just in a funk because im so bored here and tired all the time.. so anyways... this blog will not be abotu that really.. however, it has made me think about all the places ive been adn the things ive gotten to see adn people i met and things we did together.

you know when i first had my kids and we moved to FL i did everythign in my power to make sure life was normal. i was struggling with so many roles as a new mom of 2, and not losing my relationship i had with brody now that ethan was around and making time for mark, and school, and my own personal issues with moving away etc... i look back adn think holy crap i moved mountains LOL! wish i had th energy to do that now!

brody and i had an activity planned just about every day when ethan went down for his nap. he was my little buddy when he was a baby! i absolutely adored him! he came with me everywhere. awe i just love my little bummy :) once ethan came around i had to learn how to divide my time and after some time it came natural but at first i just felt so guilty for not having enough time with brody. so, now i get just about all day with ethan which is nice most days and i hardly see my brody man.. ethan and i are like how brody and i used to be... ethan is my little mini me and weve really bonded a lot! the older he gets the more we bond and hes justa fun silly kid... now brody, its a little different now because hes at the age where if his friends are around he wants to hang with them! which is ok, but some days i miss him. its not until days like tonight that i sit and think how much time has gone by, since i last had a nice alone time with brody... and without ethan. i think its important to make time with all your kdis together and separately.

so tonight, ethan fell asleep early which was nice. he was grumpy lol. so brody adn i played jenga and uno and he walked on my back lol! (im sore from yesterdays yoga class) and we had a great time! mark was at the gym so we had about 2 hours just to ourselves. i forget sometimes how cool brody is alone. around others hes just fine too dont get me wrong, but you know what i mean... certain traits come out in people when they are aroudn others vs being just them. i cant believe my kids gonna be 7 soon. makes me sad, but happy at the same time. hes becomming such a cool little guy :)

this all stemmed from a conversation with him yesterday. i forget what braught it up, but mark was upset with brody for something and he didnt have such a good day yesterday... and he looked bummed out so at night, i talked to him and long story short, asked him if he woudl like to go out somewhere just he and i ... and he said yes. and we talked some more adn he seemed happy before he went to bed. i tell my kids when they need attention, and im not giving it to them, please tell me... sometimes we all get caught up doing our own thing and i want my boys to know its ok to ask me for attention. i dont like when my kids are sad or feeling unloved... no matter how many times we tell our kids we love them, if they dont feel loved, or feel like their parents care about them, it can change who they are. so this is why i tell them to ask for attention if they arent getting enough from us. :)

i love being a mom. i have the best kids in the world for me.... honestly. other kids are fine and lovely, but no other kids could work with my personality, to be mine... my kids are good about expressing themselves and their feelings most of the time, and their overall just good. mark and i put a lot of work into the begining of our kids lives at a very early age and we take a lot of pride in that.