Since I was pregnant with my oldest son, I have been writing letters to my boys. Here is one that I really wanted to share! I hope you enjoy it and find it inspiring. I am still working on my dream, but I have made SO much progress!
To My Boys October 2010
If you haven’t discovered now that your mother is a writer, then you haven’t been reading what I have been writing. I had an urge to write a letter today to you both because just a few days ago I found out I had been given a second chance with my education. By now you understand I hope the kind of family background we come from.. all different kinds of people, some good, some tried to make it and did, but not so much in the education department. So to me, my education started to become more important the older I got. This is especially true for around the 10th grade when my eye balls opened up. I started to really try with school. 11th grade, even more so. Anyhow.. I always thought about college I just don’t know if I really thought I could have and would have gone and made it through successfully. I don’t think it is really in my genes to go to college for years and have a career. Not that everyone in the family is a bunch of losers, definitely not.. its just that college was not for everyone in the family. My mom and dad had kids at 16, and dad dropped out of school I believe in 8th grade, mom didn’t graduate until a later date. She did go to college, but didn’t complete her dream. For the longest time I didn’t think my mother graduated high school so when I thought that, it was even more important for me to finish. I never did and still don’t understand how kids cant complete high school. To me, high school wasn’t that hard… I was just lazy. And wanting to do other things with my time.
So anyhow, here I am 26. And by now if you have been reading along, you know that this whole thing started with me meeting your father, getting pregnant with Brody and making a great decision to become aCNA. And I will never forget my interview with the CNA teacher and .. I cant remember her title, but she was in charge of hiring the CNA’s at the nursing home I later worked at. I told them pretty much that I was going to be a nurse some day whether I had gotten into their program or not. and I had always been told by some of the nurses there what a great nurse I would make some day. When I worked for Dr. Samson, he had faith in me by hiring me when I was pregnant with Ethan and going to medical assisting school. That meant a lot to me.
I never did complete MA school because we moved. Instead, I went on to better things. Nursing school. I have to say how incredibly proud of myself I am with all I have been through in this process of having kids and being a young wife and going to school. I can not say it was easy or that I was always mentally ok and happy. I have thrown several math books lol and cried, and was stressed, but at the end of the day I do have to say I have given college my best try. No one said this would be easy, and I am not expecting it to be. All I do expect is that I am taught by my teachers. Some times you come across a teacher that really does not deserve that title. And that is what I feel happened my first time around with nursing school in Pensacola. I feel that way also because the entire class, literally, complained about this teacher. I did all I could in my power to make it through and I felt like such a failure when I had withdrawn from the program. but I had to decide that day I took my last test. Which was also difficult. The next week the teacher gave everyone extra points and I was mad because I had withdrawn. I don’t know that those few points would have done much honestly, but it gave me some hope. And it was too late. I tried to get back into the program. it just was not happening for me.
So in the meantime I took some classes that would go towards my schooling anyways that I didn’t need for the nursing program there. I took psychology and pharmacology. Fast forward to now.. we moved here to SC in may 2010. Your father had been gone much of that time until September 2010 because he had to train. It was a difficult adjustment for me at times having no one here I knew and there’s not much to do here. But since February 2010, I had been trying to get into the nursing program here for august 2010. I even drove 3 hrs to take a test and home again in the same day. It was very important I try to make that deadline. Well, I did, but I was not accepted. My address was not a Beaufort address and they considered local students first. I was not happy at all considering I was willing to move sooner if I had to, to get my residency for Beaufort SC. I met with the dean as soon as I got here in may and handed in my checklist for the January 2011 program. luckily, a few days ago I found out I was ACCEPTED!
I feel I have been given this rare, second chance to do something great. This is what I want to do. This is the only school for miles and miles that offers this program. they wouldn’t accept my previous nursing classes and that was frustrating, but you know, im given this second chance so I have to just go with it and not complain too much. A little complaining is fine, but after a while it is just like opening an old wound. So heck with it. In a semester or 2 I will be on to learning new material and this little set back wont mean much then.
You boys have inspired me a lot to go on with college and push to get what I want, and what our family needs. I want to be able to buy you boys nice things and have a nice home, and both you boys to live comfortably and be able to have the newest cool sneakers, play sports, have the yummiest snacks in the house.. I know its all silly sounding, but those are things I didn’t really get to have. I want to show you boys what you can do with your life if you take control of it and work hard. And I cant say I could have done this alone. I have your father here all the time to help me. I have loans I wish I didn’t have, we’ve had to put daycare on loans, and when I was in high school I never knew about loans and stuff. I never wanted to pay them back. That held me back also from doing what I should’ve done. I didn’t want to do a 4 year college either because it was too long. Now, here I am, years and years later still going to college. You have to not think about those things. I didn’t know about core classes and classes that were specific to the program. I thought you had to go to college knowing what you wanted to do and start taking those classes right away. But you don’t. you start with basic classes every college student needs then you get into your program. no one explained that to me before, and if someone tried, im sure someone at the colleges tried, I didn’t understand because I didn’t know what these terms meant.. and maybe I was too embarrassed to ask? I don’t know, I don’t remember, but I know I didn’t understand the entire process until about 3 years ago before I got into nursing school.
Well Ethan is very upset about a train set not being able to go together properly. I should help him.
