I meant to write sooner becuase i was feeling extremely anxious about a week ago, but i forgot. then i read a friends blog and it reminded me to get writting. it makes me feel better :) today i feel pretty good about our move. theres several things i am worried about with this move though. i am worried about my grandfather. he was diagnosed with bone cancer and was told he doesnt have long to live. he is feeling ok about this i hear, but it makes me worry a lot about my grandmother when he is gone. (my moms husbands parents) thinking of him made em think of my nanibob (another step grandparent) who i sadly lost due to an overdose of medication. i was walking around in kmart last night getting the last of my supplies for this move and "one sweet day" by boys 2 men and mariah carey came on. that song came out close to the time she had died and always reminded me of her. i hadnt heard that song in years. then my grandmother, i started thinking of her. she is 81. our last visit was great, and emotional. i was hard to leave her. she is still working and is on top of her game but i worry with being gone for 2 years that she will be ok. im a worrier! cant help it. i just want everyone to be healthy while im away. then, my mother inlaw, she has alxheimers. i worry so much for her. i just want people to pray for her. she is "ok" but i hear it varies day to day and i just wish i could take all my older relatives and keep them in one place and take care of them. its something i struggle with.
so as far as the move now, i just keep thinking how exciting it will be to get back into school and maybe start working part time again, go site seeing, and really just take advantage of being there. in 2 years my kids will e 8 and 6. thats depressing lol. so i dont want the time to go by fast, but i also want to just get back to the east coast as fast as possible.
over the years ive managed to realize that this is my life. for a while i kept saying this is marks life. all we are doing is centered around the military and marks career etc. its pretty much not my turn for anything. well, its our life and part of my success will be his success. i dont want to sit around doing nothing watching life pass by and look back and regret not having fun while we are moving and traveling. im trying my hardest to make the best of this. im still really anxious half the time but im ok. to manage this a little ive done as much damage control i can do and i am tsking this entire move day by day even if that means a little procrastination and then rushing around to get something done. im redirecting my anxiety. idk... ive become pretty good at doing
